"Stranded On A Desert Island"
A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a
luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest"
thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was
beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared
upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy.
Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on
to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on
a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery,
a spring-fed pool, bananas, and coconuts, there
was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on
end, sat under the same palm tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a
gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.
"I'm from the other side of the island," she said.
"Were you on the cruise ship, too?"
"Yes, I was," he answered.
"But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches,
wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches,
and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock
exposed on the south side of the island. I
discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature
in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. Anyhow, that's
how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said.
"Where have you been living all this time? I don't
see any shelter."
"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach,"
he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman
asked. The engineer nodded dumbly.
She expertly rowed them around to her side of the
island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand
of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice.
They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid
and around a palm tree.
There, stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue
and white. "It's not much, but I call it home."
Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to
have a drink?
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice
and I'll throw up!"
"It won't be coconut juice", the woman replied. "I have
a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina
Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted
the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked,
"Tell me, have you always had a beard? "No", the man
replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended
up on this island.
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in
the bathroom cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs
to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-
shell device honed razor-sharp.
Next he showered - not even attempting to fathom a
guess as to how she managed to get warm water
into the bathroom - and went back downstairs.
He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved
banister as he walked.
"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and
slip into something more comfortable."
As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada.
After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of
gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown
fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for
a very long time with no companionship. You know
what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too? Isn't there
something that you really, really miss? Something
that all men and woman need? Something that would
be really nice to have right now?!"
"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his
shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for
so long. But on this island all alone, it was just ... well,
it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said
breathlessly, "You mean... you actually figured out
some way we can check our e-mail?!"
Send this page to a friend
Website by
The Colonel
