"I''M A SENIOR CITIZEN"
I'm the life of the party...even when it
 lasts 'till 8pm.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps
with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before
I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour
without my aspirin, antacid...

I'm the first one to find the bathroom
wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body
 allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't
 hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories...over
and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grand-
children are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye
 care, private care, dental care.

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like  traffic,
 waiting, politicians...

I'm positive I did housework correctly
 before the Internet.

I'm sure everything I can't find is
 in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and
that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering
simple words like...uh....

I'm now spending more time with
my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not
for sissies.

I'm walking more (to the bathroom)
and enjoying it less.

I'm sure they are making adults much
younger these days.

I'm in the *initialstate of my golden
years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP.

I'm wondering if you're only as old as
 you feel, how could I be alive at 50?

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-
smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

I'm supporting all movements now...by
 eating bran, prunes & raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've
just lost the storeroom.............,,,


I'm a "Senior Citizen" and
I am having the time of
my life!!
(P.S.  Money Can't Buy wisdom.)
   

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