"Mr. Clinton"

One afternoon, Bill Clinton was sitting in his office when his telephone rang.

"Hello Mr. Clinton," a heavily accented voice says". This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Bill replies, "This indeed is important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moments

calculation, "Thereis myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry and the entire dominoes team from the pub. That makes 8!"

Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men inmy army waiting to move on my word"

"OK," says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy calls back. "Right Mr. Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"What equipment would that be, Paddy?" Bill asks.

"Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm"

Once more Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Paddy that I have 50,000 tanks, 2000 mine layers, 10,000 armoured cars and my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke"

"I'll be dogged!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right Mr Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've gotten out old Ted's cropsrayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!"

Once more Bill sighs and says "I must tell you Paddy that I have 4000 bombers and 8000 high manouverability attack planes and my military installations are surrounded by laser guided surface to air missiles and

since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."

"Oh cripes," says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back"

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Clinton, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war"

"I'm very sorry to hear that," says Bill. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "We've all had a chat and t'be sure, there's no way we can cope with 2 million prisoners"